Ahhhh, Damsels and Train Tracks! What a perfect combination...

Just what is it about seeing a lovely lady tied to the rails, struggling against her bonds as the 8:10 from Cucamonga races toward her and certain doom? Is it that for most villains it's their earliest memory - watching those old "Peril of Pauline" serials? Or maybe seeing poor Nell every week in the "Dudley Do-Right" opening credits. And just how many times was Lois Lane lashed to the rails?

You know what I think? I think part of the appeal is just that it's so darn accessible! Think about it - just how does the average Joe get his hands of a 6 foot buzzsaw, much less the mill to go with it? Or a heavy duty cutting laser? Or a giant vat of boiling acid? Or sharks with frigging laser beams? But train tracks... Ah! Train tracks you can find anywhere! Grab your damsel, a few yards of rope, and you're all set!

That being side, it's time for my one little rant about this peril. If your going to tie your lovely damsel to the railroad tracks -- TIE HER TO THE RAILROAD TRACKS!! Is there anything more frustrating than watching a heroine who really isn't in peril? Guys, you can't just tie her up and dump her on the tracks! Any damsel worth her salt is just going to scoot/wiggle/crawl her way from peril! Sure, you could stay and watch her, but that's bad form. You SHOULD be somewhere in the next town drinking a latte at the Starbucks in front of a dozen witness instead of right next to the rails where the train crew can see you! (Unless of course you've paid them off, you sneaky devil you...)